Getting Used to It

 What’s on my mind these days is how we could never get used to certain things.

Like how certain words still hurt so bad like the first time whenever they are being hurled to us.

It’s amusing, sad, confusing and never fails to surprise.

There were times I feel stupid to see myself still get surprised over and over again considering how the pain of those words bear, never seem to lessen over time.

After years, I’m still not numb by it. There were times when shutting off myself simply fails.

I was reading With the End in Mind by Kathryn Mannix, I remember how she said, she has been working close to death on her daily basis as a palliative care consultant, but still, each of the process, similar yet unique on their own way, she admits how she could never get used to the process.

I was watching Juvenile Justice earlier, I’m on the last episode and thinking about this, reminds me of what Judge Shim said, doesn’t matter how much juvenile cases she had handled, she could never get used to it, that it never makes sense to her.