Juvenile Justice

I loved this!! Such an eye-opening series on juvenile cases and juvenile court in Korea. I never knew there are juvenile judges to handle such cases. I thought judges are judges, and they handle all kinds of cases without specification.

There are a few things that came to my mind when I was watching this series; 

To abolish the juvenile law and punish the kids using the existing law may seem the easier way to handle things but the law itself exists not to simply punish, but mainly to protect and teach, especially the young offenders. 

I couldn't help but to concur when the presiding judge said they couldn't simply abolish the juvenile law, despite the pressure from the society, but to take a deeper look what can be improved in the existing law, so that things can be revised. Looking at the crimes those youngsters committed, they left us burning in rage and complete distress but other than the question what's the best way to teach the offenders is, what drives them to commit such crimes at the first place. 

This reminds me of the certain points from the book In Defense of Flogging by Peter Moskos, on how incarceration isn't the best option in a long run for a lot of reasons. Building more and more prisons to incarcerate offenders might seem the best and easier way but without actually dive deeper to the root cause of why such crimes happened at the first place will only repeat the broken system. 

Without a better plan and system by the policy makers, there's a high chance those offenders will keep repeating their crimes. 

And this truly makes me think of how everything, truly starts from home. 

We notice how these young offenders usually come from broken family or absent parents, and this realisation should make us ask the question, do we really know what a secure childhood and home can do to youngsters? If we truly understand the science behind that, the chances of us to see the consequences of taking this matter lightly is steep. 

Even wealthy people doesn't always get these things right. 

Like it was stated in The Body Keeps the Score book, there are countries like Netherlands and Norway seem to aware the bigger picture of this alarming issue. Their government realised what a secure home can truly do to the well-being of the children, to families and later will be reflected to the state of society. These countries don't only provide high-quality childcare, parental leave but they also invest in sending their people home to home, helping families to raise their children in a safe and predictable environment. And their efforts actually reflect on how their kids' test score and achievements at school and how they have such a low crime rates in comparison with other countries. 

Doesn't matter which hierarchy in this society we are belonged to, it always starts with the drive to learn to build awareness, at least in ourselves and our circle.

p/s: This series (ten episodes) is available on Netflix or you can just watch it online on DramaCool. Besides, I'm super excited as it was confirmed  that there'll be a 2nd season! 

Adult Privilege

One of the best privileges of being an adult is for us to finally get the answers to the questions you’ve been asking yourself since you were young.

Having the access to the right resources to finally understand things better, and to make sense out of things is just so revealing.

It feels like breathing new air, which feels liberating and surreal.

And how with that knowledge, comes responsibility.

Mundanity

 Mundane.

Life isn't always about sparkles and rollercoaster of emotions. It can seem stagnant, mundane and lack of meaning.

Now, being an adult myself, this state of being feels more common and rather palpable, that the usual distractions I seek to, seem to lose its magic on me.

Like, there’s expiration for distractions.

I started to think, why we actually wanted to be distracted any longer when we know our real needs?  Especially when those true needs feel more urgent than we imagined it could be. 

And then we ask ourselves what the thing that we missed.

That distractions are simply distractions, never is a freedom.

So, what’s the true depiction of freedom?

Life is hard but the speck of life I see down the road really gives me hope.

Hope is doing its magic, it makes people like me choose to keep going. Hope makes things feel doable, tolerable even if it means by trudging.

Hope really keeps us going and that's a fact.

With The End In Mind (A Book Review)

 

“But this is the wisdom of a long life: none of us is immortal, and every day brings us closer to our last.”

It’s a searing memoir regarding death of patients in cancer and hospice care from the eyes of palliative care consultant, Kathryn Mannix. She illustrates death with delicate yet honest manners, guiding us through its process and patterns.

How death could be creeping slow, and gentler than it has always been depicted in most mainstream media. It could prompt us gently, usually when no one sees, or almost abruptly which left people wet in shock.

It’s hard not to cry reading this book. The first story made me cry out the tears of acceptance. The second one was too shocking that I froze in my seat. And the fourth one was simply heartbreaking.

Even in the middle of the stories, when things seemed to be progressing well, right before the moment I took in the breath of relief, I was hit with the fact that, this book is about death, that demises will take place at the end of the stories, either being told or left hanging.

That, the relief feels wrong. That it feels wrong to let myself getting carried away with relief when the prediction was there from the start.

The fulfilment I felt when I finished this book, made me realized how it’s been quite a while since the last time I read books this fulfilling. Kathryn’s usage of words also sound beautifully in my head, the way she described things, like a beautiful prose being weaved. Besides her deep, rhetoric questions that always made me pause and ponder.

She also mentioned on euthanasia, or assisted death, which is banned in most countries but not in Netherlands. The word directly transports me to the film, Me Before You. She also shared a story of a transferred patient from Netherlands which refused to continue the treatment there when the doctors kept trying to talk to him into euthanasia.

But what really swept me over is her priceless, rare wisdom. It truly feels like a privilege, a true opportunity to see the other sides of life from someone like her. It’s hard to move on from her wisdom, not that I want to. Some of her words simply stays in my head, even until this moment, which I hope they will stay there permanently. I'm happy to cling on her words and keep pondering. 

This is such an important read and I'd recommend this book to everyone I know. 

I'm looking forward to read her latest work, Listen. (already had it added to my library after I finished this book!)

 

Familiarity

 

Reading After I Do makes me feel all melancholy.

It’s the sense of familiarity. Holding on to what seem right.

At this point of my life, no one feels familiar anymore, that it feels unreal to me. And how it saddens me. Maybe one of the reasons why it’s hard for me to let them go is the fear of not being able to find people like them again.

Losing the sense of familiarity with your people is already terrifying and letting them go is a different thing.

Not that it feels necessary to walk away, but losing this particular sense, can draw a bigger gap among people over time.

I remember how her tears instantly streamed down her face when he apologized, saying he knew he had changed. She wished he didn’t say that out loud, so she could keep her pretense of not seeing it coming, not before she readied herself. It truly saddened her, because his words felt like a goodbye. But she wouldn’t lie, there was actually a sense of relief, which she didn’t need to pretend anymore.

And how pretending feels like lying.

It’s only natural for us to change.

And change, could never be suppressed, or else, it’s only going to disperse a gnawing pain all over the body and mind.

Is it okay to hold on to someone just because they give us the sense of familiarity?

I think yes, considering how it’s a huge contributing factor that makes people feel cozy among themselves.

I wonder if people feel the same way about me, the way I feel about them. That we are slowly growing apart, that our values seem to contradict unlike in past. Things feel like being forced, less meaningful and awkward.

 

Getting Used to It

 What’s on my mind these days is how we could never get used to certain things.

Like how certain words still hurt so bad like the first time whenever they are being hurled to us.

It’s amusing, sad, confusing and never fails to surprise.

There were times I feel stupid to see myself still get surprised over and over again considering how the pain of those words bear, never seem to lessen over time.

After years, I’m still not numb by it. There were times when shutting off myself simply fails.

I was reading With the End in Mind by Kathryn Mannix, I remember how she said, she has been working close to death on her daily basis as a palliative care consultant, but still, each of the process, similar yet unique on their own way, she admits how she could never get used to the process.

I was watching Juvenile Justice earlier, I’m on the last episode and thinking about this, reminds me of what Judge Shim said, doesn’t matter how much juvenile cases she had handled, she could never get used to it, that it never makes sense to her.